What "War Games" taught me about self-esteem:

Depression is a lot like Global Thermonuclear War. The only way to win is not to play.

my emotional cavalcade

These are my facebook statuses from 6:00 am to 6:30 am on Memorial day 2008, in reverse order, because facebook is lazy, I am not.

Max is "dear G-d that is the largest hamburger I've ever seen! Thank you, unnamed cable news show!".
6:30am

Max is the only conscious person in wheat ridge at this very moment.
6:23am

Max thinks people who think highly of rational thought think too much.
6:18am

Max doesn't imagine anyone has woken up from nightmares of sewing-machine-gun-fire.
6:15am

Max woke up at 5 am on a national holiday, damnit.
6:06am

Too busy for funny OR Blog repentence

Hey Folks. I've been too busy for you, but now I'm back. I know I haven't been a good blogger in the past, but I can change. I can service your need for daily (maybe weekly) funny. So in order to repent, I will recite the following "Hail Barry" several times:

Hail Barry
Full of (cyber)space
the message board is with thee
Blessed, art thou?

Thank you, and do come again.

-Max

defend the future: support net neutrality!!

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE BLOG BROUGHT TO YOU BY JOKES NO ONE GETS:


I support network neutrality! Network Neutrality is keeping the internet open for ideas and communication for everyone. It is not regulation. When broadband corporations slow down access to competetor's sites (like virgin media in the UK), or otherwise hinder ANYONE from accessing any part of the internet, that is regulation. So here's the plan: To show the FCC that if you mess with net neutrality, you mess with us, DO NOT USE VIRGIN PRODUCTS. No virgin CDs (just bittorrent them :D), no virgin ariways, nuttin. If you have any more questions, drop me a line. In the meantime, here is wikipedia's entry on Network Neutrality. Peace!!!

http://dontstayvirgin.movielol.org/main3.php

Fun with Geo-Politics and Religion Take 1

In the Torah, it's said that the Messiah (the Jewish version, cause it's the Torah) will come when there is absolute peace. But I don't think people in charge ever liked nor got that idea. The Passover Seder reads like the comunist manifesto I swear to God. But the point is that if the Messiah (no matter what form you think he will take be that a handsome Itallian man wearing sandals, a Leprican with a tan or a unicorn that poops Ice cream) He would simply pop ourt of nowhere and tell people, in the guise of your local homeless preacher, that we as a species are leading ourselves in the worst of directions.

This Year's Role Model

I’m a writer, but I’m also an aspiring musician. I’m trying to find a role model who’s both. My Mom suggested Barbra Streisand, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her that singing along to "funny girl" makes her a Satanist.

Chili Dog Circuit

I imagine a day when Chili Dogs are accepted as what they are: good rewards for great adolescent achievement. I’m twenty-one now, but I will always remember the days of my youth, rewarding myself with a chili dog after a triumphant hiking excursion, getting an A in school, or any feat that furthered my drive to succeed. Chili dogs further our lives by giving us small rewards for little victories, my point being, fuck PETA.